How I killed a lion

Hey everyone, it's me Mina. I've been working on tranforming my demure, emo persona to a TOUGH PIT BULL (tm) one. I thought I would start by learning to kill a lion, because I feel killing a lion is very tough and something a TOUGH PIT BULL (tm) would do. Also, I was told pit bulls used to hang by the noses of 2,000 lb bulls and I figure, on a scale of HARD to SUPREMELY IMPOSSIBLE, hanging on the nose of a 2,000 lb bull was SUPER HARD while killing a lion was SUPER AWESOME NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE HARD. And because I am a quick learner, I decided to skip the bull and go straight for the big cat.

Plus, I like cows. I dressed up as one one Halloween. It was the only time I willingly dressed up too. I also got to hang out with Sadie, my minion's most favorite cow, also my most favorite cow (but please do not tell her that, that's not TOUGH PIT BULL (tm)).

I thought I should begin with a starter lion. It needed to be able to fit into my minion's apartment. I asked the minion to hunt me down one and bring it back unharmed so I could practice my super awesome TOUGH PIT BULL (tm) hunting skills.

Okay, so first I moved my head super fast to confuse the lion. Then, I pounced! and hugged the lion. You can see how shocked my starter lion is - who wouldn't be? I mean, that is a very tough TOUGH PIT BULL (tm) jumping him. But I wasn't sure if I would win the war.

I alread killed the camel and flipped him on his dead camel back - go me!

This is how I killed the lion. Flash, blurry paw and BAM! ate his head! Because I'm a TOUGH PIT BULL (tm), I even had time to look into the camera.

I feel very ready to take you on, lion!

Photo by Corey Leopold

Um, yes, well that is a very impressive lion. I mean, I am pretty certain his paw is the size of my head. Hmm, maybe we shall call it a draw. I think a TOUGH PIT BULL (tm) can show some self-restraint and be fair to her opponents every now and then. Like now, for example. I can be very generous and just say, hey lion! my little not-sister Celeste is much meatier than me!

Just saying.

How Is plays! And how Mina doesnt's!

Hey everyone, it's me TEAM CELESTES!!!

Yesterdays, my most awesome of moms took pictures. She claimeds me and my sisters was not workings with hers, but I claims she's silly!

First offs, she tooks a pictures of me rights when I was abouts to eats a toys! This is forbiddens! My biggest, bestest sisters is standings in the background doing somethings, I don't knows whats because I was lookings at the toys.
Then she tooks this pictures which she says makes me looks like a kangaroos or a strange creatures. I says SHE'S a stranges creatures!! Mina is busy smellings grasses because Mina is always making sures we don'ts has any invasions of mutant squirrels. I has never ever mets a mutant squirrels but Mina tells me alls the time about how in her younger days she hads to battle with Flavius, the king of the mutant squirrels. I don'ts knows how long squirrels lives but just in cases, you shoulds be on high alerts for Flavius. In this pictures, I am on high alerts for dinosaurs. That's how I hones my skillz. And just sos you knows, I killeds that dinosaurs goods, which so fars, is the only successful huntings expeditions. My moms says that's goods, but in cases of apocalpyses, I shoulds really brushes up on my huntings skillz.

Finally, here's a pictures of my bestests sisters evers! She's holdings stills, so I thinks this qualifies as Mina workings with my moms. Don't be fooleds by Mina's very tragics looks. She's masters of suckerings my moms into giving her loves and cookies with these looks. I is working VERY hards at these looks but my moms says this looks belows is SO not worthy of cookies. I says NOT FAIRS!

Portrait of an evil not sister as a young puppy

Mina here and boy do I have some Serious News to report. Just last week, evidence emerged that my little not sister is in fact evil. This came in the form of a blatant attack on my doghood over a toy that was originally mine to begin with. Celeste claims possession is 10/10ths of the law but since she also claims Goose Poop is a vegetable, I have little faith in her ability at logic. In any event, Celeste has a history of improper use of teeth. Please see below.

Article 1: Improper Mouth: Tennis Ball Size Ratio


Article II: Holding onto a rope toy longer than permitted by Mina Code of Conduct; Article 5; Section IV, the Paramount Tuggy Terms of Dangling

Article III: Inability to distinguish teddy bear from my foot.

Article IV: Very first attempt at eating my PNOD.


Article V: The most damning evidence of all, an attempt at Killing Me that she failed due to my most awesome of skills called Dodge to Left Immediately Before Large Fence. Works every time, by the way.

I am okay, because I am an Awesome Dog full of Magical Canine Properties that deter attacks from little not sisters who seem to think MY toys are HER toys. And while she did in fact gain possession of that Ghost in a Pumpkin stuffy, I retained ownership of the minion's undying devotion which usually involves cookies. I feel this is a sufficient reward to the little not sisters unruly (and might I add, dangerous to my PNOD!) behavior.

Attack of the Collars!

Hey everyone, it's ME TEAM CELESTE!!!!1! I hopes y'alls are doing goods. I is doing so greats it's not even funny (it's funniest!) My mom, who is brilliants, boughts me and the big sis each a collar of epic proportions!! She tooks photos sos you could sees how awesomes we ares!

Here's my new brand collars! I calls it Bubbles Universes of Orders! My sister says it looks likes I gots pimples on my collars. I told her her noses is one big pimples. Then she ates me! But she spits me back up cuz I don't fits in her throats and she says I don't tastes so goods. Ha! I wins!











Here I is with my new collar but guesses whats? My mom actually cuts my noses off! I hads to check that I stills had noses cuz this pictures makes me look stoopid and noselesses.

I gaves my mom my best "TEAM CELESTE: NOT AMUSEDS" look.











This is its, my TEAM CELESTE: NOT AMUSEDS! look.














Now ontos my most awesomenesst of sisters, Mina! I has to says, she gots a really neato collars and I am a bit jealous of hers. She says grows up - I says I AM grows up!

Heres it is! Isn't it perdy? I mean not as perdy as my Bubbles Universes of Orders but stills pretty.








Ha ha! Mom cuts off Mina's noses too!!











This doesn't shows Mina's new collars but I includes it cuz I thinks it shows Mina's softers side. Here she is with Barbar II and though her lips is all curleds up it's not cuz she's mean, it's cuz Barbar II is fats. I thinks she looks sooooo cutes in this pictures plusses she is SOOOO embarrasseds by it (she says it makes her looks fats but it doesn'ts so she shoulds stops worrying!)




Anyways, thats alls! Mom also broughts home cooooookiiiiessss to makes up for the new collars in cases we didn't likes them. We dids, though, but we acted likes we didn't so gots lots of cookies.

Stuffie Extravaganza!

Today was The Day to buy stuffies for the dynamic duo. Goodwill produced a veritable jackpot of affordable dog toys (erroneously meant for children). For $6.90, eight stuffies were purchased. Although Mina thinks I'm stingy, I refuse to pay more than $2.00 for a toy (unless it is the mose awesome of toys).

The Need:

As you can see, the toy box has declined. That vintage frog has lost his eyes. The teddy bear is doing his best to obscure the damaged goods beneath him.

The New Goods:

From left to right: Care Bear Stare (face obscured), Leo I the Loser, Leo II the Winner (center back), Orange-cola bear (center), Monkey Face, Babar's Cousin, and Bear VII.

Your Challenge - Find the Pit Bull

She's the one trying to avoid eye contact with the crazy Care Bear Stare creature of doom.

The Dynamic Duo Response:


Celeste: I can has?
Mina: MINE! ALL MINE! Behold my red-laser eye of doom, come any closer and you'll surely perish!!!!
Celeste: So I can not has?


Celeste tackles the evil Care Bear Stare of doom amidst the innards of a previous conquest.

Toy Box After:

Better. Much better.