The cast:
Me: Hapless human who had the nerve to go on vacation WITHOUT the dogs.
Miss Mina: Queen Bee Supreme irked with my abandoning her for infinity and beyond.
Celeste: Little Dumpling of Doom overjoyed with life.
Me: I'M HOME!!!!!*silence*
Me: AS IN INSIDE THE HOUSE IN PERSON FOR REAL!
*crickets sing*
Me: Where the heck are you two darn dogs?!?
*woof, woof*
Me: Aww, they're calling for me!
*walks toward backyard*
*sees two dogs playing together*
Me: Hey ladies, it's me! YOU'RE MOST FAVORITEST PERSON!!!! I'm back!
Mina: Who? You mean the person who was my former minion and now is even more former than before? The one who abandoned me with THIS thing? *stares at Celeste* FOR FIVE DAYS!
Me: Oh, well, you see, they said "pets" were allowed but, well you know, you aren't a pet!
Mina: That's your excuse? You leave me to suffer indignities the likes you've never seen because I'm not a pet? Which I'm not, of course, but I could be for a vacation.
Celeste: OH MY DOGGESS, IT IS YOU OF THE MOTHERLY FAME! WELCOMES BACK MY MOST FAVORITEST MOTHERLY FAME PERSON EVER!!!! *flings herself at Me*
Me: Aww, that's so sweet Celeste! I love you too.
Celeste: I love you very, very, very much times five million for the five million days you were gone. I bet you were helping those starving dogs in other parts of the world, right? Telling them how great my big sister is and how much great food I eat? Right?
Me: Sort of. There was a skinny cat who could have used some food.
Celeste: A cat? Is that like a puppy but spelled different?
Mina: No, you dimwitted non-sister of mine, she's talking about the big C, the needle-sharp clawed spawn of the feline world, she's talking about that creature who keeps visiting our backyard and pooping in our yard.
Celeste: NO! Humom wouldn't ever, ever, ever sociate with the likes of them? Would she? WOULD YOU?!?
Me: Um. Sorry?
Celeste: YOU IS FORGIVENATED!
Mina: No, you aren't. For ten pounds of food, minion, I'll pretend this whole abandoning business didn't happen. Otherwise, I'm so not talking to you.
Me: *close to tears*
Mina: Are you crying?
Me: *sobs* No! I just thought you'd be happy to see me.
Mina: Oh for the love of dog, I am overjoyed to see you minion. I like grandpa and all, but he's no minion. He lets me sleep on the chair when he's supposed to invite me on the bed. He tells me I'm a good dog but doesn't back it up with a massage. Fact is, you're the most adequate minion a pit bull like me could ask for.
Me: For real?
Mina: Yeah. For reals.
Me: *SQUEEZES MINA* You are the bested pit bull on the planet!
Mina: *glares* Darn straight. Probably the best pink-nosed dog in all of this universe.
Celeste: I'M THE BESTEST AT FALLING OFF CHAIRS!
And thus the turbulent trio were reunited once more after years of separation.
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1 comment:
Dang what is up with Mummys leaving their dawgs and going away for days and days?? Honestly it couldnt have been that much fun to go away frum home to a place without dawgs.
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