Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy 2010!

I plan on exhibiting bonus woe this year. Also, my plans at world domination will come to fruition, of that I am certain.
Mina is the woe

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hiatus Fin!

That is French for finished, people. Be overjoyed. I am:

Truly, I am.

Anyway, I thought I would share with you my recent walk, which ended five seconds ago and was not quite what I expected. You see, I expect to do many things on my walk, anything I want, actually. My minion does not understand the word minion and seems to think she is in charge. Vexing, I tell you. Even more so is the fact that the minion brings along that one, or the not-so-little-not-sister. She may be 2.5 years old, but she has yet to learn to walk properly. This is embarrassing.

Behold! Things My Minion Did Not Let Me Do On The Walk....

My minion did not let me:

1) Pee on every single blade of grass, shrubbery, low-hanging branch, fire hydrant, dirt clod or flower bed. How on earth am I to convey my Queeninosity when I can't even show my presence?
2) Eat that dog the size of a pinto bean. Normally, I like little dogs. Do not tell them that. If news spreads that I LOVE OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE little dogs, my emo image might be tarnished. So, anyways, there was this little dog. Size of a pinto bean. Really small. But he was ready to take on the world, or at least Celeste and me, maybe. He lunged and he lunged and he crashed into the window, bouncing left and right, yelling really rude things, and generally acting a fool.
3) Eat Celeste.
4) Walk into traffic. Which I suppose is a good thing, seeing as there are idiot drivers who fail to comprehend that this world is mine. Still, there was a good smell in the middle of the asphalt, and I wanted to smell it and then pee on it.

There are probably many other things my minion didn't let me do. She did let me body slam Celeste off the sidewalk. Actually, she yelled at me for that, but whatever.

I am sure you are overjoyed I (and the not-so-little-not-sister) am back. Are back. Whatever. Savor the moment. You do not know how long it will last.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Hey everyone, it's me TEAM CELESTES!!!!

I am justs reporting that me and my most awesomest of big sisters, Mina, is on hiatuses! My bestest moms ever wants to focuses a little mores on her other blog.

We'll stills be making debuts and featureds in her other blog because she says we annoys her soooooooooooos muchs she needs to talks about us!! Mina is a little miffeds but says shes okay with a hiatuses dues to the facts it means more cookies for hers.

Not sures how longs we wills be on hiatuses but gives us at least a months!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Awards and Awesomeness

I am happy to report that Celeste's Lion-Nose Stigmata has disappeared. This was a very embarrassing condition that made walks uncomfortable. Recreational time was okay, due to the fact I could just grab her lion-nose stigmata and pretend it was Celeste's actual nose.

Anyway, we got an award due to my beauty and awesomeness. My minion considers this rather self-indulgent and egomaniacal, but what does she know?

The award we received from Daisy who is a pit bull with a pinkish nose, which makes her pretty cool. Celeste does not like to speak of Daisy due to the fact she is Dozer's boyfriend and this makes Celeste jealous.

So I have to give seven beauty secrets and then pass it along to seven other bloggers:

1) Roll in the grass for an absolutely delightful scent that will make all the dogs go wild, including the annoying french poodle next door.
2) Get a lot of sleep, preferably 18-22 hours daily.
3) Stay in shape by chasing around you not so little not sister.
4) Streeeeetch. A lot. Stretch in the morning, afternoon and evening, before and after naps, after meals and right before you head bonk your minion (this will keep you limber and provide entertainment).
5) Paint your nose pink.
6) Eat flaxseed oil, like ten capsules a day or a whole bottle so you will be glossy and shiny.
7) Floss. Maybe with your not so littler not sister's leg. Or not.

Seven bloggers:
1) Addy
2) Dannan (handsome secrets, not beauty secrets of course)
3) Princess
4) Amber
5) Luce
6) Bella
7) Baily

So if winning an award wasn't great enough, Dozer also passed on a meme promoting awsomeness. Now, I am surprised Dozer actually shared this as he's been known to not share things. So, in his honor, I'm not sharing this meme with ANYONE. Ha!

Seven reasons why I, Mina, is Awesome:
1) Pink nose of doom.
2) Perfectly shaped ears.
3) Ability to sleep through an earthquake.
4) My emo and angsty nature
5) PINK NOSE OF DOOM (differs from #1 in many ways that I cannot articulate)
6) I do not stoop to the depths of slor where my not-so-little-not-sister lives
7) I have a fan club.

Friday, July 24, 2009

I has the stigmatas

Hey everyones, it's me Team CELESTES!!!!1!! And boy do I has some very important news - I has the stigmatas! Mina says this means I'm the second comings of the satins, but I thinks I'm really the second comings of Rin Tin Tins. Or Lassies!

Here is my evidences:

Monday, July 13, 2009

Please feel free to send money to my Campaign of Woe

I am starting a Campaign of Woe. Every time I turn around, there is the minion with her clicky-shooty device.

Instead of cookies, click!

Instead of adoration and praise, snap!

What is wrong with her? Many things, let me tell you. But mostly this whole camera fetish.

Anyway, I am starting a Campaign of Woe so that you, dear canid reader, may bear witness to the abuse and mistreatment and humiliation I must endure at the hands of my minion and her camera.

Thank you for your time. I accept cookies, peanut butter and carrots as donations.