Saturday, August 23, 2008

A walk to end all walks

As always, these are TRUE STORIES with vocal embellishments on my part. ;)

The scene: Walking in the ‘hood with mah pit bull and muttskie.

The cast:

Mina: The Pit Bull who is certain little yappy dogs yelling at her must be dispatched post-haste

Celeste: The Muttskie who does whatever Mina does even when she doesn’t

Me: Just a hapless human dragged about by two crazed canines

Me: Hey, it’s pretty toasty out, eh?

Mina: It’s more than toasty, minion, it’s like we’re walking in a giant molten lava-ball.

Celeste: Ohhhh, can we chase our lava-selves? Please?

Mina: Sure you can. You should probably chase your lava-self in the road, though. Better traction.

Celeste: Okay!!! *prances off sidewalk*

Me: Negative, little crazed one! Mina, please don’t encourage Celeste to do dumb things.

Mina: Yeah, whatever. It’s not my fault she believes everything I say, even though I am right about 150% of the time. I try hard to live up to my awesome standards.

Me: Yes, it’s hard being you.

Mina: I’m glad you recognize that, minion.

Celeste: It’s hard to be me too!!!

*Me and Mina roll eyes*

Suddenly, barking erupts from the house on our right. Then more barking is heard from the house behind us.

Mina: PANIC ALERT LEVEL FOUR MILLION! It’s a panoramic attack! Rally the troops!

Celeste: I is the troops and I’m rallied!

Me: Good lord, Mina, these dogs are like 1/50th of your size.

Mina: Ha! Yeah and parasites are like 1/trillionth of my size and yet I don’t see you inviting them over for tea.

Me: Good point. About face! Let’s, um, go visit that lamp post five blocks away – I hear it’s real popular with the boy dogs.

Mina: Not until I tell those miniature hounds of hell what’s-what. *barks, whines and glares at five random houses* Okay, I’m done.

Celeste: Me too! *promptly runs into tree* Whoa! That is the fastest moving tree I’ve ever met in my whole entire 1-yr-long existence!

Mina: God, you are embarrassing.

Me: Like you should be talking. Anyway, let’s go check out that lamp post.

*Mina glares one more time at random house; Celeste nose bops the fast-moving tree; Me, I just hope for the best*

No comments: