My opinion on 4th of July

<--- This is my general assessment of 4th of July.

Does it celebrate my awesomeness? No.

Does it rejoice in the pinkness of my nose? No.

Does it provide me with delicious food? No.

Does it allow me to sleep for thirty-five hours straight? No.

Does it magically disappear Celeste, my not-so-little-little-sister? NO.



So what does 4th of July do for me? It does a horrible thing by starting an apparent war in my front yard. I am embarrassed to admit this, but while I am unafraid of many things (like other dogs and fences), I cannot claim to be a fan of fireworks. First, fire? Wrong. Fire is only good in a fireplace where I may roast myself in safety (in front of the fireplace, of course). And fire working? That is absolutely unacceptable. Wrong! Against all that is canid and good!

In any event, I don't like fireworks and thus I do not like the 4th of July (which also brings out a lot of waving flags, which I also do not like, mainly because they are not Mina flags).

I will be spending this 4th of July at my grandparents where working fire is absolutely 1000% prohibited, by order of ME.

To the rest of you canids who must endure working fire, I suggest the bathroom. It's cool. It's dark. It's a very safe place. If a tornado hits during the fireworks, the bathtub can double as an anti-tornado device.