Saturday, October 18, 2008

When leashes attack

This is an older story but it never loses its charm due to the fact that it is repeated nearly every evening on our walks. ;)

Trot, trot, trot, trot... "LEASH!" Yank, huff, fall back.

Trot, trot, trot, trot..."LEAAASHH!" Sigh, grumble, huff, fall back.

Trot, trot, trot, trot...."LEAASSSSHHH!!!" Mumble, grumble, snort, sigh, fall back.

Trot, trot. "You know, life would be easier if you didn't keep trotting to the very end of your leash, then act surprised when you hit the end of it."

"Oh, would it, my dear sweet minion?"

Uh-oh. Mina was in one of those moods - the world is against her, woe is her, cry her a river, then throw her some liver cookies.

We were progressing slowly on our walk. The sun was out, my flesh was turning pink, Mina was panting like she hadn't just gulped down four cups of water (that I have to carry, mind you) and Mina kept trotting past me at a super-fast pace and psuedo-choking herself on the lead. It was great. Just fabulous.

"Um, soooo, Mina - how about we take the loop around the lagoon. There are geese you can glare at and maybe ducks." I was trying the "please the canine unit route".

It didn't work.

"Yeah, minion, let's DO that. Let's walk another forty minutes around a fricking dirty lagoon that you won't even let me swim in. And then maybe let's trek across the great desert just so you can tell me to not sniff the goose poop. After that, let's walk by the dog park and mock the dogs that I don't even get to fricking chase and play with." Mina managed to convey this message to me while sniffing chamomile and peeing on a bush.

I took a deep breath. One must take a lot of deep breaths when Mina gets into her funky moods.

"Okay, well...what would you like to do? Should we go back to the truck and go home?"

"You would like that, wouldn't you, minion? Just give up and go back and miss out on all the smells and sights and creatures to glare and yell at and maybe swipe with my paw? I don't think so, missy. We're going to walk the extra forty minutes, and you are going to keep up so I don't end up being attacked by that infernal leash. Sound good?"

I nod and smile.

Trot, trot, trot, trot... "LEASH!" Yank, huff, fall back.

Trot, trot, trot, trot..."LEAAASHH!" Sigh, grumble, huff, fall back.

Trot, trot, trot, trot...."LEAASSSSHHH!!!" Mumble, grumble, snort, sigh, fall back.

"You're doing that on purpose. You are currently on my list. There will be repercussions. Just when you LEAST expect it, I'll do something....CRAP!" *sound of Mina tripping over slackened leash* *sound of Mina sliding across her chest* *sound of Mina getting herself up and acting like nothing happened* "do something horrible to you! Like lick your ear!"

And that is why I love Mina.


happypitbull said...

LOL! At least your dogs like to leave the house. I can get Dozer excited about the idea of going on a walk, but as soon as we set foot off our property, he's ready to turn around.

Opy - the Original GruffPuppy said...

Hey buddy,

Sorry I am alittle late with my welcome - but welcome to, it is great to meet you and I am sure you will make lots of friends here :)



Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello miss mina its denns the vizsla dog hay we hav the saym problem with owr leeshes mama sez we do the labrador walk and then she stops mooving and we hav to hang arownd until she desides to start walking agin it mayks for sum reely slow progres sumtimes oh wel maybe sumday she wil lern how to walk on leed properly ha ha ok bye

The Girl said...

Oh Miss Mina, just be grateful that your minion doesn't get you a torture device! I used to be attacked just like that by the leash, and then she got a thing she calls a "gentle leader" and it's just ON ME all the time!

Brown dog kisses,

Amber-Mae said...

Well, I get that too all the time. I wear choke chain everyday so getting yanked by that is not a very pleasant feeling but I'm kinda used to it & that's why I do it again & again & AGAIN! And it just gets my Mommy annoyed.Hope your Mom doesn't decide to get those Halters or Gentle Leaders or those harnesses where you're not allowed to pull anymore.

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Ruby said...

Hi Mina
That's how I walk. Only I fall behind to smell something & the leash snaps. I wear a harness though, or I don't think I'd have any esophagus left.
I hope your neck is ok.

Love Ruby

Bella the Boxer said...

Hi Miss Mina,

Watch out or else your Mom might make you wear one of those funny-looking "training bra" things! Argh, they are soooooo embarassing!

xoxo - Bella

Chad said...

The gentle leaders are the way to go with dogs you like to pull. Or you can get an attachment for a bike or scooter which secures the dog safely on back side of the bike.